My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
