Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
