I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
