you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
