I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
