His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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