Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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