I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
