ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
