So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
