Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Randomize
