Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
