You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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