I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
