Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
