I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
