The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
