dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
