i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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