Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
