Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
