I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
