You can't special order awesome
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
