i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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