There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
