The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
