How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
