it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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