do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She even gives head with a lisp.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
