Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
