So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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