i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
