one might say we're banned from that church
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
