so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
