RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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