Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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