There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
