I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
