At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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