I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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