i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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