It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
