That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
