You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
