is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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