and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
