Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
