I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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