saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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