Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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