Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
