My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
