She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i need some magic done to my vagina
I touched a dick in church today
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
