Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
