I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
