that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
