He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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