the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
